MARY ANN LOEWEN. Sons and Mothers: Stories from Mennonite Men. Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. University of Regina Press, 2015. pp. 144. $17.61 (CDN.)
Sons and Mothers: Stories from Mennonite Men is a compilation of written reflections by 13 academic and artistic Canadian men about their mothers. The editor, Mary Ann Loewen, notes in the introduction to her book (x), a question raised in the introduction to the book Mothering Mennonite, edited by Rachel Epp Buller and Kerry Fast. The question, “. . . but have men had a similar opportunity [to write about their mothers]? The answer, as far as the editor knew, was no.” Loewen then decided to take up the “challenge of crossing the gender/generation divide and allow men to share their stories about their Mennonite mothers” (x).
I have concluded, after reading Loewen’s book and having grown up in the Anabaptist Brethren in Christ Church culture, that these Mennonite writings about mothers by their sons would be stories equally representative of many Brethren in Christ male experiences. As a Mennonite pastor privileged to listen to many persons tell life accounts, I find Loewen’s book yet another opportunity to enter others’ sacred stories. These stories can provide insights and invitations, for both listeners and readers, to reflect on our own life journeys.
Perhaps nearly all persons, no matter the cultural background, will resonate with Loewen’s statement, “We tell our stories in order to make sense of our lives, and we read the stories of others in order to know and understand what it is to be human . . . .” (xi). The 13 compiled stories are written by men uniquely gifted in putting into words the experiences, thoughts, and emotions many men hold but are often uncomfortable with or unable to bring into the open for examination. Inevitably readers will find themselves going back to their own life stories and asking questions about how they were impacted by their mothers.
The 13 different accounts are uniquely personal to the authors. As I read each story, I found myself wanting to know more about the writer’s background. Knowing more, I might have better understood the writer’s reasoning for the narrative he holds of his mother. However, the reader must turn to the back of the book to find a brief alphabetized biography of each writer. I found myself wanting the narrative and the author’s biography closer together within the book. The biographical information intensified the impact of the author’s story.
The diversity of themes found in these life stories will likely cause a reader to identify more closely with a particular author’s account due to his own life experience. For instance, my own life experience included powerfully voiced spiritual reality filled with fearful warnings. Nathan Klippenstein writes in “Open Gates,” “We were constantly [my emphasis] reminded to gird ourselves with spiritual weaponry lest the devil enter through a side door, disguised as something we might actually enjoy” (46).
For some, poverty, tragedy, and turmoil filled part of a mother’s life. How did mothers seem to deal with these events and what were the effects passed onto the sons? Howard Dyck, in “Mary Dyck’s Vicarious Life,” caused me some sadness for my own mother’s journey; her early days were difficult, though not to the extent Mary Dyck suffered. “There was a tension in my mother’s life arising from the gap separating the realities of her life from her unfulfilled dreams, which she harbored to her dying day” (96). My mother’s credo was to “make the best of everything and not look back.”
One writer’s Mennonite mother did not fit easily into the church and religious community’s social status and did not conform with ease to or identify with the modern era. Paul Tiessen, in “Things My Friends Did Not Know about My Mom,” wrote: “The Mennonites she encountered there emphasized solid performances of various kinds of “worldly” achievement: they focused on a certain degree of material well-being, and she sensed that they were uncomfortable with displays of failure and loss and breakdown” (11-12).
How did some mothers and sons talk about sexuality (if they did)? Did mothers in previous times face different complexities around the issue of sexuality than exist today? In an informal discussion of long-time church friends with their mothers, Lukas Thiessen writes, “…I have learned that the church community’s position on dating and sexuality has changed over time” (75). “They [the gathered Mennonite mothers] also recalled how those activities [a church rock band, and other questionable activities] were suddenly curtailed when a Christian revival came through southern Manitoba” (76-77).
If it is true we live by stories passed on to us, mothers contribute formative narratives that profoundly shape sons’ lives. Loewen’s book provides material to stimulate readers to better contemplate who they are. Readers may put into better perspective that today’s individual, church, and family issues are not something new. Out of these stories of mothers and sons comes a deeper recognition that world events, individual decisions, and church influence combined with local culture are powerful forces affecting individuals and families. Responses to these forces are a combination of various influences and mothers play a large part in influencing their sons’ (and daughters’!) life trajectories.